In Memory Of Dracula.

I lost one of my best friends, his name was Dracula. It was unexpected, "something he ate", the vet told me. He died as I rushed him to her office. "It was something he ate a week ago, there was nothing that you could have done, it was something with heavy metal in it, it destroyed his kidneys." they said. I only fed him and Sinbad, my Macaw, the best food…

Dracula came into my life eight years ago on my birthday. The first time that I met him he bit me hard. The breeder suggested the name. It fit. He was a little African biting machine. He was adorable. I took him home. The cat did not like him much and decided that the top of the cage was a nifty place to sit on. Of course that only happened once. Poor cat.

It was not long before he took control of my life. Being a single guy with not much of a social life he became the focus of the household. He would do what ever he could to drive me crazy. He knew exactly what he was doing, he was a smart one. A little gray bundle of pure evil that would have me running around answering phones that were not ringing. Checking the microwave oven because it signaled that it was done, but it wasn't. Even running up the stairs to grab a fax that came in, only to find no fax and a depraved laughing bird downstairs who thought it was the funniest thing to watch his pet human perform neat tricks for him. Like running up stairs, jumping up and down screaming "ouch" when you applied just the right amount of pressure with your beak…

He eventually learned to talk. He would say "I want to suck your blood", this of course he meant. On significant occasions he would forget the blood part and turn a guest's face red with embarrassment, I never taught him that. He would scream "Dracula parrot from hell", and you would believe. If you tried to touch him while holding a phone you might as well get ready to go to the hospital to get your appendage reattached, because you would get bit, hard. Heaven help you if you forgot and started petting that pretty little grey head. He would just sit there and wait for the right moment seeming to enjoy the gentle pressure that you applied , then faster than you could say ouch, he would get you. And then help you out by screaming OUCH, OUCH! Amazing what that little beak could do when it was annoyed.

I had always read how smart these types of birds could be. I had seen articles about Alex who lives in Arizona, but never really believed it. That changed one day as I was trying to clean the little demon's cage. He was yelling at me and trying to bite my head, or an ear, which ever was easier to reach. I finally got to that point, you know the point I am referring to. I could not take it any longer. I yelled "shut up or I'll squirt you". The reply; " Squirt me." I did. Well he asked for it didn't he? He would constantly accomplish things that would require problem-solving capabilities. Whether he wanted to move something from one spot to another or just harass me. I know that he understood. Those incredible gold eyes held a remarkable intelligence.

The night before he died I noticed that he was breathing hard. I called my friend who is a bird veterinarian. She told me to bring him in first thing in the morning. I knew then that my little bundle of terror would not make it. I tried to make him comfortable that night and left him alone. When I got up in the morning he was still having problems breathing. As I tried to take him from the cage he tried to bite me, I had to take him out with his perch. He fell toward me. I knew he was in trouble. I got him in the car, and told him how much I loved him, and on the way to the vet's office he died. I cried, he was my friend and I could do nothing to help him.

I miss my little monster.